damelola

Title: No Children (part 13 of 16)
Author: Lola Lauriestein
Rating: PG13-R for language, occasional sex references!
Pairing: Cuddy/OMC, House/Cuddy, House, Cuddy, Wilson friendship.
Spoilers: Everything up to Wilson's Heart, takes place not long after.
Disclaimer: not-not-mine, House et al belong to David Shore, Fox etc. The song "No Children" is by The Mountain Goats, they are awesome and you should check them out.

Summary: Cuddy has a new boyfriend, House has a problem and Wilson is grieving. As matters go from bad to worse, will they be able to help each other as they once did? Friendships under strain and tough decisions ahoy.

With thanks to my awesome beta,

lucyvanflick! Trust me guys, this would be a mess without her.

Your feedback so far has been excellent, constructive and very much appreciated. Thank you so much, I hope you enjoy these last few chapters. This may be the worst possible night to post something with all the premiere excitement, but hey, if it helps pass the time while we're waiting...

Chapter 13

“And I hope that if I found the strength to walk out

You’d stay the hell out of my way”

There were days when her job had some additional perks, and Cuddy was grateful for it. Sure the killer paycheck, generous benefits and large amounts of job satisfaction were nice, but the sheer demands of the job on her free time could be a blessing when she wanted it that way.

Thanks to a burst of her usual diligence, the Day After House Kissed Her (How could she refer to it as anything else?) was busier than most people could have coped with. Back-to-back meetings, cheat sheets and agendas surveyed as she scurried in the hallways. Subsisting on takeout coffee and stale pastries in conference rooms – which only reminded her to look for a new catering firm – she managed to avoid both of the men in her increasingly complicated life.

Bert Thomas, the head of Accounting, struggled to get her attention at the best of times. So in the midst of his droning about the five-year financial projections she surprisingly felt little guilt about drifting off into her own thoughts. Besides, she’d seen his excruciatingly detailed email already and committed the numbers to memory as soon as she saw them. Which left her free to consider what exactly the hell was she playing at.

Zach had been weird at dinner, but then she hardly had the monopoly on having a stressful life. She knew that his ex-wife liked to mess around him over visitation rights for his daughter. Perhaps they had a disagreement? With the occasional distracted nod at Boring Bert, she mulled over exactly why she had stormed out of there like a moody teenager.

Something was wrong before House and his olive diversity lecture came onto the scene, she realized. She supposed she just didn’t know Zach well enough yet to put her finger on the issue. It was what House called her ’spidey sense”; the same ability that allowed her to track him down to whichever crime scene he was creating in her hospital.

Which was really the problem: she couldn’t think about Zach without relating everything to House. She used to complain that he dominated her working life to an unfair extent, but only because she allowed him free reign in her subconscious like this. Was it any wonder he was encroaching into her personal life with alarming regularity?

Not to mention that House had kissed her. Really kissed her.

Nothing accidental or forced about it. Oh, and she’d been seconds away from getting it on with him right there in his office.

Forcing herself to pay attention, she interceded in the flow of numbers and risk analysis to end the meeting before any board members decided that suicide was preferable to this level of tedium. She would worry about her life another time; for now there was a hospital to run.

But on day two, she wasn’t quite so lucky. Arriving at her office, she found a forlorn Zach in the waiting area. Cuddy was a grown woman and she knew she couldn’t avoid him forever, but a little longer would have been great. She’d ignored his voicemails and felt a little evil about it. Clearly he’d been upset enough to show up at the hospital.

She had decided in the shower that she was calling it off. Actually, she had decided about a second after her hands had made contact with House’s leather jacket two nights ago, but her sense of propriety wouldn’t let her dwell on that. Either way, the decision had been made and there was no way she was having this conversation here.

With a lukewarm greeting, she asked Zach to walk with her. The nearby memorial garden was as private a spot as she could think of in her confusion. They walked the short distance in silence, Zach with hands stuffed sulkily into the pockets of his jacket.

She sat on the slightly frosty bench, glad of her long wool coat. Fall was rapidly giving way to a bitter New Jersey winter and though she had grown up in them, getting older seemed to be making her soft. For a few seconds she watched her breath forming clouds before taking the plunge.

“I guess we have to talk.”

His reaction was as cold as the air surrounding them.

“From the way you were ignoring me, I guess that jerk told you everything.”

Alarm bells began to ring softly in Cuddy’s head. Fragments of the conversation with House, Zach’s defensive posture, it was all starting to head somewhere she didn’t think she was going to like.

“Not everything, no.” She was calling his bluff, years of playing headmistress to headstrong doctors had made her an expert in letting people incriminate themselves.

He turned his brown eyes on her, his hand reaching for hers across the wooden bench. Where he had been standoffish before, now he was almost pleading.

“You gotta understand, it was just one stupid night. I had a few drinks after you left for Connecticut, felt sorry for myself because you chose that asshole over me. Cindy showed up at my place and one thing just lead to another… I’m so sorry. Please believe me that I am sorry.”

The sudden burst of anger in her chest was both sudden and surprising. Cuddy withdrew her hand from his so quickly that she almost broke his fingers.

“Are you telling me that you slept with your ex-wife? Because I went to a funeral?”

Any doctor at PPTH would have recognized that disturbingly calm, reasonable tone, like the slow suction of air before a building suddenly exploded. Any one of those doctors would also have possessed the good sense to make their escape as swiftly as possible .

Unfortunately for Zach, he just didn’t know any better.

“I…I thought he told you. House said he would if I didn’t. I wanted to be honest with you. Lisa, I was weak, it was a moment of madness. You know how I feel about you...”

Of all the reactions he expected, her laughter wasn’t high on the list.

“Oh God, really? You’re going to sit there and give me clichés? What was the little declaration of love for anyway? Trying to throw me off the trail? To think I felt bad about coming here to break up with you, and all this time you’ve been lying about this?”

“You’re breaking up with me?” The fool tried the puppy-dog eyes one last time.

“Well if I wasn’t before, I am now! God, when will I learn? Recently divorced, looks good on paper and it never works out. Clearly when a guy seems too perfect, it’s because he’s anything but! Did you really think you could throw out an ‘I love you’ and I’d just fall at your feet?”

Zach grasped desperately for her hand again, and was treated to one of her most icy glares for his troubles. If looks could break an arm, his would have snapped like a twig.

“Lisa, please, just give me a chance to make it up to you.”

She regarded him thoughtfully, trying to remember what she had seen in this man who now filled her with equal parts rage and stone-cold apathy. The more devious side of her knew he would interpret her pause as actually considering another chance for him.

Which only proved he didn’t know her very well after all.

“Why would I? I don’t need you. You had your chance and you blew it. Don’t call me or try to win me back. If we run into each other, smile and just keep on walking.”

Rising from the bench, Cuddy folded her freezing fingers into the pockets of her coat. She took a few steps away from him and thankfully, he made no move to stop her. She paused, a particularly spiteful part of her decided it was worth a parting shot.

“Oh and Zach, just so you know? The last couple of times, I was faking. See ya!”

With that, she marched back along the gravel path and into the warmth of her hospital. The betrayal, the embarrassment was nothing she couldn’t deal with. After all, did she really care when she was dumping him anyway? No, Lisa Cuddy had a new mission to occupy her: finding the unfortunately kissable man who had withheld information from her. When she got a hold of him, he was going to be very sorry.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“House!”

Just when he thought he was safe, the summons came bouncing through the hallways of hardwood and glass. Wishing he still had the ability to sprint, he turned instead to face his doom. Cuddy had finally tracked him down on the second day after their alcohol-tinted encounter, and she didn’t sound overly thrilled about it. Not to mention that any yelling she did now would make him late for Dr. Ramirez and that invariably meant she would make him work twice as hard in his therapy session.

“You bellowed?” he asked, careful to keep his tone neutral.

House hastily scanned her body language and expression for a hint as to how cataclysmic her rage might be. Unfortunately, her flushed complexion, clenched fists and extra-tense shoulders didn’t bode well for his health and safety, nor did the icy glare currently cutting through him. She grabbed him roughly by the forearm and tugged him through the double doors to the stairwell, almost concussing him in the process.

“Hey, that door nearly hit me in the face. In some cultures, beating on cripples is frowned upon.” House couldn’t help but pout. He never liked being roughed up for no good reason.

Cuddy was in no mood to soothe his wounds, real or exaggerated.

“You knew and you didn’t tell me? Too busy laughing at me for picking another loser?” She spat out the words, the desire to pummel something surging through her veins.

House considered hedging, or injecting something of his usual wit. Something in his brain, or perhaps his all-too-kickable groin prompted him to take the sensible course just this once and admit what he knew.

“He finally ‘fessed up? Took him long enough.”

Cuddy didn’t seem appeased by his honesty. If anything, it only made her angrier, which meant a mountain of clinic hours was on its way. She punctuated her next outburst by prodding him painfully in the chest.

“He told me because he thought you did. I went to break up with him only to be ambushed by a tearful confession straight out of General Hospital. Which begs the question of why you didn’t tell me? I suppose you were enjoying the thought of me suffering?”

Feeling his eyes narrow at the accusation, House thought it was about time he stood up for himself. Pausing as a nurse came running downstairs past them, he launched into his defense as soon as he heard the doors close.

“It was none of my business. You know how I hate to interfere.”

Cuddy snorted derisively, and he noted the slight relaxation of her shoulders. Promising, but he wasn’t out of the woods yet.

“I only found out by accident. I kicked his ass all over the quad and ordered him to tell you. Obviously, I scared him a little too much.”

She rolled her eyes, not fooled by his macho bragging now or any other time.

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to be the one to hurt you. God knows I can find enough ways on my own. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a very hot woman waiting for me.”

Sweeping off with feigned hurt, or as best as he could feign anything while negotiating his cane and a heavy door, House left a speechless Dean on the landing.

Her blinding rage gave way to a feeling not unlike being sucker-punched. After the roller-coaster ride of the past few days, was House now running off with some random woman? Wasn’t she clear about him waiting for her?

Her first instinct was to follow him and give him a taste of his own snooping medicine, but it was quickly nixed as she realized he was far too good at avoiding her for that to work. Luckily, years of experience had taught her every way of getting information about House. The easiest way was currently in his own office up on the fourth floor, or at least he should be. Calculating how long she could keep her ten o’clock appointment waiting, she figured it was worth risking a pissed-off interviewee and so she set off upstairs.

James Wilson was calmly reviewing patient files when the small, localized tornado hit his office. It had been a while since Cuddy in full power had crashed through his door, but as a sign of normality returning, it was almost welcome. Sadly, it was still a warning that either he was in trouble or was about to get himself into some, no doubt because of House. It felt almost like old times.

“Where is House going right now? I just saw him and he said something about seeing a hot woman. Which, obviously, I object to. As his boss, I object to it, because he is supposed to be working for me and not picking up women.”

Wilson wasn’t sure what Cuddy was raving about. As far as he knew, House had a clear morning. Except for his appointment with Dr. Ramirez who, in fairness, was pretty good-looking; her girlfriend certainly seemed to think so. Which meant House still hadn’t told Cuddy about the program, and Cuddy was jealous at the misunderstanding about who House was dating.

Interesting, he thought to himself. He would have completed the thought with the arched finger gesture of a Bond villain if not for the death glare currently emanating from the powerful woman opposite him.

“You’ll have to ask House what he’s doing. Anything I know is privileged. Doctor-patient confidentiality.”

The sweet smile Cuddy tried on him wasn’t entirely convincing.

“Why go to all that trouble when you can just tell me now? If it is medical, which I don’t believe for a second, I could get it from pulling his file.”

Wilson stood up from his chair, unable to stop smirking.

“Be my guest, computer’s all yours if you want it. Just remember that I gave you no information; you found it all by yourself.”

There was no mistaking the flickers of panic and worry that crossed Cuddy’s face as she pushed past him to log on to his computer terminal. She drummed her fingers impatiently at the time it took for the appropriate software to load, but before she could vent her frustration on Wilson, she had access to the mainframe and was searching for House’s file. Wilson, for safety’s sake, had retreated to the furthest corner of the room. He pretended to be admiring the view from his window as he waited, as if the parking lot was something worthy of a poem.

Cuddy couldn’t contain her gasp of amazement as she absorbed the newest details on House’s medical record. The Pain Management Program was one of her pet projects at the hospital, and her zeal in securing the funding had been largely motivated by guilt and the vain hope of getting House to participate. She’d given up on him accepting two years ago when he refused time after time, even to acknowledge its existence. She sought Wilson’s confirmation, scowling slightly at his drama-queen need for distance.

“Is this true? He’s actually had two appointments already? Without being tossed out or killing anyone on staff?”

Wilson nodded, and with this proof she felt her earlier rage subsiding. It was replaced by something she’d almost forgotten about: hope. Wilson obviously noticed the change, and issued his typically practical warning.

“Don’t get your hopes up, Cuddy, he could still change his mind. He’s always going to need some pain medication, but if this can get him to try and improve his quality of life even temporarily, it’s a good thing. We can’t put any pressure on it.”

She returned his earlier nod, admitting that what he said was most likely true.

“It’s just that for the first time in, I don’t know how long, he’s trying. Really trying. I thought he’d given up on ever improving. I don’t know what to make of it. What made him decide now?”

Try as she might, she couldn’t keep the excitement out of her voice. Not that she believed in people changing, not fundamentally. She did believe that people were capable of attempting to help themselves though, and it seemed that House was finally proving her right.

“He won’t say. You know you can’t get a straight answer. I thought maybe something his mom said before… Well, whatever the reason, I’m glad he’s doing it.” Wilson did look happy, something she hadn’t seen these past few months. Perhaps not the boyish exuberance they were all used to, but any smile on his face was a great improvement, and Cuddy was pleased that the rumors about the mended friendship were true after all.

She made her excuses and started to leave, wondering if her very delayed interviewee had given up yet. Wilson stopped her with a question.

“Cuddy, is there something going on? Anything I should know about?”

The pointed glare over her shoulder didn’t silence like him like it normally would have. With a sigh, she gave the only non-answer she could think of.

“Nothing you should know about. Though God knows you usually find out anyway. Bye, Wilson. I’ll see you at the meeting later.”

Cuddy could have sworn that she felt his smirk all the way down the corridor.